


The Blue Lion

by orphan_account



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Byleth is also there, Comfort, Conflict, Growth, Mental Illness, Modern AU, Modern Royalty, Multi, Recovery From Past Trauma, This is gonna be a long one and it's gonna hurt at times but I swear it might be worth it??, slowburn, there will be fluff to make up for the hurt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 13:01:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20210182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Five years after he graduated from Garreg Mach High School and his life fell apart, Dimitri returns to Garreg Mach with a group of his closest friends in-tow, hoping to set his life back on a happier course. Recovery, however, is not a quick or easy process, and it will take more than distance for Dimitri to come to terms with his past, his condition, and how he can learn to continue moving forward. With his friends at his side and a mysterious but charming young teacher named Byleth to help him, however, he might just manage it.





	The Blue Lion

The rocky hills of Fhaergus glided past on either side of the winding highway. In the meagre few weeks of summer that had passed over the region, the fields had turned lush with growth and life, a rare scene of beauty that Dimitri had only experienced once before in his life. That unforgettable day, he had been travelling to Duscur with his parents bickering about directions in the front seat, and Glenn sitting next to him in the back, telling him stories about the places they were going to visit. Now, he was headed south for Garreg Mach, the cultural centre of Fódlan, surrounded by his four dearest friends, enjoying the first taste of peace he’d allowed himself in nine years, since that very same day.

Dimitri leaned back in his seat and took in the view – grey stones, green hills, blue skies, and not a city to be seen for miles – before he let his eyes slip shut. Soon, they would reach the mountains that marked the Fhaergus border, and he would be free…

A cold, wet finger jammed itself into his ear, jerking him back to his surroundings. He twisted around in his seat, straining against his seatbelt.

“What was that for?!”

Ever the picture of innocence, Sylvain just flashed his most charming grin and pointed to the dashboard with the same finger that had interrupted Dimitri’s rest.

“If you’re gonna doze off, you ought to let me have the frontseat so I can man the music. It’s only fair, you know.”

Felix, sitting behind Dimitri, leaned forward to interject. “No way! I’m not about to let you blast party music crap for the next two hours.”

“It’s not crap! And besides, I’m thinking about Dedue here. He’s been driving the whole way and some upbeat tunes will help keep him awake.”

“I actually prefer the silence,” huffed Dedue quietly, and Dimitri offered him an apologetic smile.

Having been assigned the middle seat for precisely this purpose, Ingrid effortlessly shoved the two of them back into their respective seats on either side of her. “I don’t think the music is the problem so much as your singing along, Sylvain. His Highness needs his sleep, so if he wants quiet, we should keep it that way.”

Dimitri winced. “Ingrid, I told you not to call me that. I want to leave all of that royal responsibility back in Fhirdiad, even just for a little while. Outside of the capitol we’re just a normal group of friends. So please, just call me Dimitri, alright?”

“A-alright, Your – uh, Dimitri.”

“And Dedue, that goes for you, too.”

Dedue nodded. “Of course.” He had to visibly bite his lip to stop himself from finishing with his usual ‘Your Highness’.

“Just a normal group of friends.” Felix sneered from the back seat. “I’m sure you’ll blend right in, Your _Boarness_.”

Ingrid hit him none-too-gently across the temple. “Don’t be rude, Felix!”

Felix shoved her in retaliation, knocking her against Sylvain, who gave an _oof_ and pushed back. “Watch it, guys!”

This set off the third scuffle of their journey, and they were only halfway to Garreg Mach. Dimitri gave a long sigh and hunkered down in his seat. It had taken a year’s worth of convincing before his uncle had finally agreed to all this, and he was starting to wonder if it would really be worth all the effort.

“Are you feeling alright…?” Dedue had at least stopped using ‘Your Highness’, but was apparently struggling to refer to him by name, even despite the years of Dimitri asking him.

“I’m fine, thank you,” he replied, closing his eyes again. “If the others don’t beat you to it, please wake me once we reach the mountains. I’d like to be sure that Fhaergus is truly behind me.”

\--

Dedue hadn’t needed to wake him. Their car wound and looped its way up the northern side of the mountains, and as they approached the southern curve Dimitri looked out through the back window to watch as Fhaerghus was swallowed by the road and the trees surrounding it. Part of him felt relieved, but for the most part he felt an unshakeable sense of guilt. He had said it was for his own wellbeing, to get his head in a better place, but they all knew the truth: he was running away. From responsibility, from consequences, from the future. No one said anything.

After an hour of twisting along the mountain road, Felix hanging is head out the window to try and battle motion sickness, and Sylvain regaling them with questionable tales from his dating history, the trees and cliffsides finally gave way to an open, green valley, and ahead of them rose the massive stone walls of Garreg Mach. Even at this distance, the famous Garreg Mach Monastery was visible at the very top of the city, its ancient spire reaching up towards a now cloudy sky.

“I nearly forgot how beautiful it was,” said Ingrid, leaning forward to get a better look. “Do you think it’s changed much since we were last here?”

Felix, now looking much less pale, grunted. “Probably not.”

“How long has it been?” Sylvain shuffled closer to Ingrid, ignoring the look she shot him. “Five years, right? Surely a place can’t change that much that fast.”

It could, but Dimitri bit his tongue. Five years might not mean a lot to stone structures, but the people living in them were a different story.

Their destination was deep within the city, not far from the monastery that served as the city’s heart. It was an elegant two-storey townhouse built in a very similar style to the monastery itself, using the same pale gold stone and intricate detailing; his uncle had told Dimitri that it was believed to be almost as old as the monastery itself, but Dimitri didn’t take much comfort from that fact. Inside, the house was already fully furnished, and his three friends wasted no time arguing over who got which room while Dedue started checking that everything was in working order.

As for Dimitri, he retreated immediately to a room on the second floor, one with a balcony and an adjoining bathroom, showered and collapsed onto the bed, shutting his eyes and trying to ignore his thoughts. Five years. So much had changed since he was last here – was it really a good idea to come back? Was any of it a good idea? At some stage Dedue brought him dinner but Dimitri barely touched it. He spent the night wrestling with the muddle of thoughts that ricocheted around his mind; faces, voices, feelings, memories that he would much rather forget but could never escape.

Unable to bear it any longer, he rose with the first sign of daylight and stared blankly at the television until Dedue stepped into the living room, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Good morning,” he offered huskily. “Shall I get you some breakfast?”

Dimitri shook his head and rose. “I’m alright. I think I’ll go on a run, actually.”

“I’ll join you.”

“No, I… I’m fine on my own, thank you.”

Dedue hesitated, unconvinced, but didn’t press the matter. Still, Dimitri could feel Dedue frowning after him as he waved goodbye and stepped out the door onto the street outside, already beginning to fill with the morning bustle. He tugged a hat over his eyes to help avoid being recognised, picked a random direction, and ran.

It felt good to be moving. With his energy focused into the effort of exercise, his steady stream of anxieties usually faded to the background, granting him a rare few moments of calm that he could cling to for the rest of the day. Today, however, even the drumming of his feet against the cobblestones couldn’t drown out his thoughts.

He’d made the wrong choice – yet another mistake to add to the list. Leaving home was a bad idea. He was just running away like the weak coward he was, like the pitiful excuse for a human being everyone saw him as but only Felix ever said to his face. Nothing would fix the past. Nothing would make it better. Any step he took would never bring him any further from it, no matter how far or fast he ran.

Dimitri turned a corner and realised he was passing the outskirts of Garreg Mach High School. The place where everything had started going wrong. No, that wasn’t true; it had been going wrong well before that. This is just where it all fell apart. He remembered carrying all that pain, all that sadness, all that deadweight back home to Fhirdiad, where it had snowed him under, suffocated him. Even now he felt its hands clawing at his neck. He ran faster without realising it, his heart and lungs screaming. His vision started to blur with tears. They would never let him forget, the faces and voices all around him. Failure, worthless, monster. Brute. Boar. What would they say if they could see him now? Monster, monster, monster…

A flash of green hair, startled green eyes, and Dimitri’s mind went immediately blank as his reflexes kicked in. His heels slammed into the stone, his hands reached out to catch the person who had stepped out in front of him at the same moment as his momentum slammed into them, nearly sending them both crashing to the ground. They staggered with the force of the impact, Dimitri managing to hold on to them until they could both stand.

“I’m so sorry!” Dimitri exclaimed between panting breaths. “I am so, so sorry! Are you hurt at all? Are you alright? I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going…”

The person he’d run into was a young woman. Her hair was a little dishevelled and her eyes were still wide with surprise as she blinked at him.

“I’m fine, yeah.” She looked over her shoulder and then back at him. “You really should be more careful, though. There’s a main road just up there and you could have gotten yourself hurt."

Dimitri gaped at her. “You… you’re worried about me? I’m the one who nearly knocked you over!”

The woman smiled, and Dimitri felt what little breath he had suddenly leave him.

“Of course I’m worried! If you’re not careful you’ll get yourself hit by a car, and that would be terrible. What’s your name?”

“Uh… Dimitri…”

“Ok, Dimitri. Promise me you’ll pay more attention to where you’re going, alright?”

She reached out a hand for him to shake, and he realised that she held a number of books in her other arm. She seemed too old to be a student – was she perhaps a teacher, then? Certainly not from when Dimitri had been a student, he could never have forgotten a face like hers. It took him a moment to tear himself away from her gentle expression and remember to actually take her hand. It was warm.

“I-I promise. What was your name, by the way?”

Her handshake was firmer than he’d expected of someone her size, and he felt strangely disappointed when she let go.

“Byleth,” she said. From the monastery just across the road from them, a bell tolled loudly, and Byleth jumped. “Oh no! I’m late again!” She whirled around, about to charge off towards the sound, then whirled back. “It was nice to meet you, Dimitri!”

Then she was off, racing towards the high school, still clutching her books, leaving Dimitri to stare dumbfoundedly after her. He stood there for a good two minutes, trying to process the whole encounter, before he turned around and jogged back home, unable and unwilling to shake those bright green eyes and that warm smile from his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> This is really an exploration of Dimitri's mental health outside the setting of a fantasy warzone. I really love the Blue Lions friendship dynamics and I adore Dimitri as a character, so this is hugely Dimitri-centric and focusses mostly on the Blue Lions characters (especially the childhood friends group), but other characters will feature!  
Also, written by somehow who also has a number of mental health issues, this is a bit of cathartic exploration for me, but I promise not to make it too heavy. And because it's me there will definitely be fluff galore to come!


End file.
